AITA for telling my mom that my autistic sister isn’t my responsibility?
I (17f) am planning a graduation party for the end of this year. I have a severely autistic sister (23f), and I’ve come to strongly dislike her. She’s always had tantrums and destroyed my things, wether it be toys, electronic devices, or relationships, and my parents always come up with excuses about how it’s okay, and about how I don’t need to help or compensation.
I’ve been left with her to baby sit by myself without the proper instructions, and if I say anything about how it upsets me, I get punished. It’s miserable. Hell, I haven’t been able to keep a boyfriend because she and my parents chase them away. I can’t say I blame any of them. Fast forward to now, my parents pay me to watch her, $9.00 an hour. They leave me alone for hours and days. I learned to cope and just watch her, now I can do it safely and easily, but I really want to do normal teenager stuff. I applied and got a job at a steakhouse near by.
I’ve got a place to go when I turn 18. I’m trying to limit my time of having to practically parent my adult sister. I mentioned to my mom that I’m having the party at a friends house, and she said I need to invite my sister because they are planning a date that night, so not only are they gonna mis my graduation, I wouldn’t be able to attend and walk because I have to watch my sister, and I’d have to take her to my graduation party.
I told my mom I can’t, my friend has to many breakable things, and if my sister breaks anything, it’ll be a lot of trouble, and my mom said it’s fine, if she messes up anything, I can pay for it. I told my mom everything, my new job, moving out, and essentially, my sister isn’t my problem anymore. My mom said no way, they depend on me, and how will they able to retire if I’m not here to watch my sister. I asked what she meant, and she said that I was expected to stay home and take care of my sister so my parents can retire early and travel the world.
I was stunned. I looked my mom dead in the eyes and said. “She’s your daughter, not mine. She is your responsibility, not mine. I will be 18 soon and I will have no legal obligation to you or her, and I will not let the girl who has dictated and destroyed my life wreck my future. I hate her, and I am sorry you put yourself in this situation. Deal with it like I have been since I was 9.” My mom hasn’t stopped crying. I’ve been grounded, but I’m going to my friends apartment on Friday, and I think I’ll just stay there and let my parents deal with my sibling. My dad has been shaming me for what I said and my friends have said that while I was true, it was harsh. I thought I was in the right, but tonight, my mom told my sister what I said, and she had a meltdown in front of me. I feel ashamed. AITA?
NTA. Do you have all your essential documents? Don’t underestimate what your parents will do to sabotage your attempts to leave.